Firsts…..

I know I have taken a break from the challenge, I needed the rest. But I am back and I plan to finish out the month strong.

The other day I was working in my writer’s notebook for my students and started a lists of ideas based on firsts. There is something magical about doing something for the first time:

Your first day of school.

Your first concert.

Your first day at a new job.

Your first interview for your chosen career.

Your first love.

Your first kiss. (although I didn’t put this in my writer’s notebook for school haha)

Your fist apartment.

Your first time living abroad.

Each of these experiences are etched into my brain. But one of my favorite firsts was the first time I saw snow.

I had a joke a few years back. No didn’t really exist. Being from Florida, I never saw snow as a child, and as I traveled I always seemed to bring the warm weather with me. Even when I went to New York City in winter, I didn’t get to see snow. But when I finally did a little over a year ago, it was perfect.

I was in Austria celebrating Christmas in a family environment for the first time in 4 years. Living in Asia I never got Christmas off, but we did get a long break for Chinese New Years. I was anxious because the weather report said it would snow soon and ice was already beginning to form on all the trees and plants. It was stunning, especially at his house. The house had a private nickname from me, “Snow White’s Cottage”. It was adorable and nestled next to a creek with trees and vineyards as far as your could see.

As I was reading in the living room, Thomas came in and told me to come outside. When I did I got to the beginning. The ground was dusted in a fine white powdery snow and I was giddy to see it falling from the sky. I ran around like a child grabbing snow, watching it melt in my hands, and struggling to make snow balls for our impromptu snow ball fight. Afterwards, we warmed up in the main house with coffee and soup. Just when I thought the day couldn’t get better, Thomas suggested a drive.

We ended up on a private road that noone drives down very often. We continued our snowball fight before I decided I was going to make a snowman. I didn’t care that there wasn’t “enough” snow to make it. So I made the tiniest snowman I’ve ever seen complete with twig arms and a drawn on face. I named him Goliath :D. Putting him on a sign post, we left and headed back home. The following weeks I got to really see snow in the Austrian Alps on top of a glacier, but I will still love that day the most.

Dread

I am not sure why, but I have this feeling that something is going to change in my life. Not sure what, and not necessarily for the better. Where this feeling is coming from, I am not too sure. I don’t have any unanswered decisions to make, nor anything planned soon that could account for this feeling. Yet, it is still there. I’ve learned to trust my gut instincts, however, without some clue as to where the worry may be stemming from, I am not sure what to do. I will just have to be aware of what is going on around me and with the people I care for deeply.

Perhaps, this is just another side effect of all that has happened in the world recently. I can’t fathom how people who live and breathe the same air that I do, have the same heart and blood in their bodies can do the atrocities that we’re constantly seeing. It’s making me desire more and more next year to join the volunteers helping the refugees. I would do it now, had I already not made the commitment to farm in Ireland for a month. Maybe I can do another volunteer mission this Christmas. Any hands for any number of days can help.

For now, all I can do it wait and keep positive. Have any of you who read my blog had this feeling before? Any advice on how to move past it? Thanks in advance!

Currently

I am sitting pondering the different stories in my mind….but nothing is coming together in a complete fashion. SO….I am stealing a bit.

I’m currently…

Listening to:

Latvian music in the background of my new Netflix show “Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries”. 🙂 I dig it.

Loving:

A week off for spring break. It was just what I needed.

Drinking:

Red Wine

Thinking:

about why people still continue to hurt each other in so many ways. Why do we lie, cheat, steal, murder, judge, etc? It doesn’t make anyone feel better.

Wanting:

a visit from some special people. I would love to get some of my American friends here in Europe with me this summer.

Procrastinating:

Completing school work. But  I did read more than a third of the first Game of Thrones novel in the past day. I will stay up late tonight to read more. I need to get myself back into “work” mode because reading for book club at school is fun, but my week won’t be if I don’t get cracking tomorrow.

Needing:

a puppy to snuggle at night. :

Reading:

Game of Thrones among a dozen other stories. 😉

Worrying:

that I will have a hard time once I get back in the gym. I love getting in there and getting sweaty. But with my physio and the rain I’ve gotten LAZY! I need Marini to whoop my booty once the docs release me for exercise.

Wondering:

about someone special.

Anticipating:

my summer in Ireland woofing. I hope there is a nice quiet park where I can read, write, and use the camera I plan to buy when I go home before the trip. I am so happy that my couchsurfer told me about this organization. It sounds like it will be a lot of hard work and fun, plus I get play with pigs. 😀

being a night owl zombie!

So I am still sitting awake……and it’s almost midnight. I should be working, reading, or any other number of things but my mind is buzzing.

These are the nights I should be living in the woods or on the beach. Instead I am home in my apartment after a day spent relaxing and soaking in more sunshine. And I’ve started a new series on Netflix.

My agenda for tomorrow is full. I need to read the first 2 Game of Thrones for my book club, work on my last unit reflections, prepare my rubrics for the next unit on habitats, find more resources, finish putting together portfolios, clean my fridge :(, and talk to my personal trainer.

But instead i am enjoying a brownie and fig tea, life is good!

 

We will see how I feel in the morning. 😀

memories :)

I just read my boss’ post, as she is a slicer and introduced me to the challenge, and it made me start thinking of memories. I recently got some old photos back from my ex husband. I found my senior glamour shot, and I floated down memory lane.

 

Fear over possibly losing my job for throwing a mcflurry at a customer. But for the record, I didn’t get fired and I only did it because she threw a cheeseburger and I retaliated as I felt mustard and pickles seeping my hair and the neckline of my shirt.

Dying my hair every other day and then not being able to dye it at all now.

Going to concerts.

Matt and Megan. Always together.

Park ave Records

hummus, the Smashing Pumpkins, and Mr. T jokes in pjs.

Groveland, Leah, and the mall. A glorious weekend.

Losing a bet and having to go to the country bar sans black clothes and make-up. Wearing wranglers.. *shutters* lol.

pleather 40 inch bell bottom pants, my trash bag pants.

Getting kicked out.

Moving out for the first time. I was so excited.

 

Life is good, if you look for the in between moments. You will always find something memorable and that should be treasured.

 

Love and Light. 🙂

 

 

The sun is out!

The sun was out today.

I felt so young and carefree eating sulfaqe and drinking beer. I soaked in every ray I could with my eyes closed and peace in my heart.

I wish this would be everyday, but in all honesty, all the cold winter days make me appreciate the sun just a little more.

Here is to good days and good friends
.

On this day…

On this day

eleven years ago I married the person I had once hoped would be my happily ever after.

even though I knew we had too many issues.

On this day

ten year ago, I was working two jobs because my mother-in-law’s mistake.

I was out of university for a year.

On this day

nine years I was in the middle of my first semester at the University of Florida.

I was being blamed for moving us away from his friends.

On this day

eight years ago I was working two jobs again and full time school.

I began doing my homework at the coffee shop instead of going home.

I slept in my car between shifts and caught my husband talking to women online.

On this day

seven years ago I had finished my Bachelor’s in Elementary Education.

I began shuttling my husband to operations after he went blind.

On this day

six years ago I’d finished my Master’s in Education from UF.

I found out my husband was still having an affair after 3 years.

I asked for a divorce and moved out.

On this day

five years ago I got a job offer in China.

I was in the middle of my divorce.

He stole $12,000 from our accounts and my car.

I stole the car back.

On this day

four years ago I was mending as an officially free woman in China.

I began online therapy with a counselor from my city.

My divorce was granted on his 30th birthday.

On this day

three years ago I was enjoying my first year in Taiwan.

I was thinking about dating.

Noone seemed worth the risk.

On this day

two years ago I accepted a job in Turkey.

I met Thomas. I fell in love.

I would hate my life in Turkey. He helped me through it.

On this day

one year ago I was preparing to move to Austria.

Wedding talk was happening. Baby talk was happening.

I was excited awaiting my offer from ACT Albania to get the right training.

On this day

now, I am beginning again.

I am single. I have no plans to move to Austria.

I am hurt, yet hopeful.