Today I did something that warms my heart. When I first got divorced and decided I wanted to travel for work, times were dark. I had been robbed, with only enough money to buy my trip to China. I would arrive 4 months later with a few suitcases holding all my earthly belongings, mostly books. In my wallet was $200 and my accounts back home were at $0. Bill collectors were shouting down my neck to pay for the multiple operations I provided for my ex husband. But still, as I woke up in that hostel, 2 blocks from the bund in old Shanghai, I was filled with so many emotions. Anxiety from my exes words, that I would fail. I would end up an illegal, broke American female in a distant uncaring land. The first few days of weird events including being trapped in a bathroom because I was not aware that toilet paper would be a non-existent entity inside the stall. But after the awkwardness faded away and I got used to the stares, I was able to relax. But I was still struggling. The demons of my past haunted me. But this decision ultimately saved my emotional life, and China will always hold a very special place in my heart for it. I met people who were there for me. People with that same passion to experience life and live it to the fullest. I still have my bad periods, and probably always will. But this life has given me something I never had in America. Security. I am not living by counting my change and choosing which bills I can hold off on paying. I can travel, eat well, and still save for the future.
I like helping people. It makes me feel good, and today I was able to pay all the kindness I’ve received forward to one of the nicest people I’ve met here. Her name is Martie. I understand feeling like there isn’t an option for escape from a bad situation. I am in a position where I can help her because I know she needs the help. I do hope that this starts a ripple of positive moments in our lives and in the lives of others. I feel $1,000 is a small price to pay in order to create a catalyst that can help people who just need that support for a moment. A step up to build a future.
A smile shines in my mind and heart today. I know many can’t do this, but you can do SOMETHING! give your leftovers to someone battling hunger. Hold a door for someone overloaded with bags. anything. These small, seemingly inconsequential moments, may not be small to them.
peace, love and light.